Bill Board #5 1/2
Jimmy and Sacha were in town at the Farmer’s Market when their old friends Abram and Jess from Nouveau Hampshire showed up. These two up-start/fancy hippies are trying to show me up with with their Jim-Dandy of a caravan… a meticulously built, half Roma wagon, half caboose. (Mr. Sutton would have cried had he seen this.) And they have the gall to set up camp right in the front yard!
No one was around, so I knew it was up to me to straighten them out. I marched over and said to Abe as he disembarked “nice tiny home”.
Abe grumbled something to the effect that it wasn’t a tiny home and I continued “Listen here pal, I gatta good thing going here, and I can foresee you cramping my style”.
And the fella just carries on setting up camp and not saying a word to me. So I continue “One of those stoic types I see. Now you pick up camp and find your own place to park it, this here site is mine”!
Then out of no where, Jess starts sprinkling essential oils on me, telling me they will bring peace to this experience. And you know, surprisingly, it did. I took another look at my worst friends and best enemies and realized at once that these two were kindred spirits. Then I started tripping over myself trying to help them set up camp.
Once Jess’s Santeria wore off, I realized that it might be nice to have a little vacation and move in with them for a while. So I asked my new friend Abe if he wouldn’t mind me staying with him and Jess. He looked at me strangely for a second, and tried to explain that he believed it would be too small for three people.
“Nonsense” says me, “Once I have my posters up and my good luck trinkets everywhere, you’ll feel right at home. “
Then you wouldn’t believe this, but Abe tells me that Jimmy had warned him about me…..Me…..Your humble William Board. Imagine being warned about me, the most inoffensive guy to roam this multiverse.
Then he followed up by saying “Jimmy said if I gave you a couple of steaks, you’d leave me alone for a while”.
“Steaks says you? What kind of steaks are we talking here?”I asked.
“A couple from a cow Jess and I raised last year” he answered.
“Well that might sound interesting there ole Abe, ole buddy. Pass ’em over!”
So Abe and Jess came through for me and gave me these beautiful steaks. And I knew just what to do. I scooted of to Mr. Sutton to put my grub on. First thing I did was borrow some chives from Sacha’s garden. Once back, I cut up four cloves of black-garlic (I won’t say where I got it), cut up the chives, and mixed it all into a half a stick of soft butter. Then I added a little salt. Finally, I and rolled it up in some wax paper and shaped it into a cylindrical form about twice the size of a toonie. That’s my black garlic butter. Set that in the fridge.
So everyone has their own way of cooking steak, so do what you gatta do see, just don’t salt it until after it is cooked. When your steak is cooked, set it on a plate and generously butter it with your black-garlic-butter. Then, before you cover it and let it rest 5 minutes, that’s when you salt it.
Now if you have never cooked a steak before, here’s how I do it… sprinkle about 1/4 tsp. of ground black pepper on either side of the steak. Then put a cast-iron pan in the oven set to 500 F. Once the oven and the pan reach 500 F, carefully take the pan out of the oven, oil the pan with a tiny bit of vegetable oil, put the steak into the pan, put the pan back into the oven.
For an inch thick steak, it takes about 2.5 minutes per side, so after 2.5 minutes, take the pan out of the oven, flip the steak, and put it back into the oven for another 2.5 minutes. Then follow with the aforementioned black-garlic butter and cover the steak and let it rest for 5 minutes. Serve with fries or mashed potatoes… and eat some vegetables for crying out loud!
Take care every one,
Bill Board over and out.