By William Board #4
I knew I had to dig something really nice up in order to get back in the good graces of Ol’Jim-beau. He’s a hard doobbie to please, and what do you get the guy that has everything?
I’ve seen Sacha hard at work building the BullyGoth web-site. They reckon they’re going to sell BullyGoth gear all over the world through this here site. Imagine, people buying stuff on line? It’s like they’re out of touch or something.
Good thing I’m here! I’ve got connections. Or, not so much connections, as the ability to connect. I’ve got a way with people, a silver tongue as it were. Then it struck me directly how to help out my two naïve friends. I figured the people with the biggest and most powerful server would be the best people to borrow something from, because that is exactly what Jimsy and Sach need… a whole fleet of internet hacks. Whaabam! www.BullyGoth.com is on everyone’s home page, all over the world in one fell swoop.
I was excited! I wanted to start right away. Sacha and Jim where in town so I used the hidden key they don’t know I know about, and went in the house to use the internet. I googled the CSEC (Communications Security Establishment Canada), then I gave them a call. It went something like this… being on hold for a long while and then someone spoke.
“Yes this is the CSEC, how can we help you”. Of course I know not to talk to the first stooge they put you on to, so I demanded to speak to their supervisor.
” Sure” they said condescendingly “What can I tell them this is about”?
I needed these guys to take me seriously so I said, ”Tell them it’s about national security”.
“Oh really”, patronizingly,” okay, I’ll get somebody” they said.
Then all of a sudden there is some really serious breathy dude on the phone saying “Listen pal, this is the Canadian Secret Service. We don’t have time for this kind of thing, call your local RCMP if you have a domestic problem.”
Then that’s when I went in to my rap about needing to borrow the CSEC server so I could do my friend a solid and he could get his website out there good and proper. I explained I’d need all the pass-codes and a couple of his best hackers. Then the guy laughed in my ear right over the phone, just like that. So I knew I had to get a little rough with this fella and said “You listen here buddy, my name is James Joseph Condon…” (understand I couldn’t give them MY name, and I wanted Jimmy to be surprised with the present I was borrowing for him) “…and if you don’t give me what I ask for there will be hell to pay!”
There was silence on the other end. So I got exited and yelled a bit, and I said some nasty bits and pieces. In the end I hung up, crestfallen at my failed attempt to borrow something nice for my pal Jamesy. He and Sacha arrived back home about five minutes later. Two minutes after that the RCMP arrived and arrested Jim. As they were cuffing and stuffing pour ole’ Jim I yelled to him ”Don’t worry kid, I know a good Lawyer!”
Jimmy said “Don’t do anything Bill.” Sacha was just staring at me with daggers.
If you know Jim, you know that a Manhattan is his favorite drink, and that fussy cuss is particular about how he makes’em. And after a day like today my friends, this would be a good time to have one.
For one Manhattan you take a tumbler full of ice, add three droplets of dry vermouth, three droplets of sweet vermouth, one dash of nice quality bitters, and three to four ounces of Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey. Set a rinsed off maraschino cherry in a high-ball (some people prefer a martini glass) and strain your drink over the cherry. Sit down, kick back, and enjoy.
This is Billy Board saying check out BullyGoth Farm’s website www.BullyGoth.com. There is a blog (supplied by moi), a bunch of workshops to take, and shop on it where you can order wonderful herb and mushroom concoctions, spice blends, mushroom soup mixes and the” infamous” BullyGoth Super Sampler box.
Over and out.